New Soil: Refocusing Dreams Beyond Mama's Cup of Ambition

In today's episode of Mama's Cup of Ambition, I'm here with a bit of a life update along with some news about the future of this podcast.

Mentioned In This Episode:
Episode 67: Exploring The Significance of Firsts & Lasts

Let's Connect On Instagram:
connect with the Show (@mamascupofambition)
connect with Rachel Mae (@rachelmaemusic)

May your dreams be ambitious and may your coffee be strong! xoxo -Rachel Mae

Transcript

Rachel Mae: 0:01

Hey, I'm Rachel Mae, Country Singer, songwriter and host of Mamas Cup of Ambition, the podcast for ambitious mamas with big dreams and little kids. Or maybe your kids aren't so little anymore, but your dreams are still just as big as ever. Wherever you find yourself in your motherhood journey, if you've got ambitious goals that you're longing to achieve and you're looking to spark inspiration, cultivate motivation and develop community with like-minded mamas, you're in the right place. As a new mama myself, I created this show as a place for honest and empowering conversations about motherhood, entrepreneurship and dream chasing. So grab a notebook, top off that cup of coffee and let's turn our goals into action plans and our dreams into reality together. Now let's jump in to today's episode. Hello, hello and welcome to Mamas Cup of Ambition. I'm here today with a solo episode. Actually, and honestly, I've had the privilege of being joined by so many incredible mamas lately on the show and all of those conversations have just filled my cup no pun intended, although slightly intended with so much joy and so much inspiration, but I know it's been a minute since I've hopped on here on my own. So anyway, at the time that this episode is airing, we are quickly approaching the end of the year and I've been spending a lot of time lately reflecting on what has been unfolding in my life over the past year and it's safe to say that this podcast has been a really big part of how I've spent my time. Like I really doubled down my efforts on this show and I feel like it pushed me and challenged me in so many ways. And it's really wild looking back over the journey at just how much I've crone and changed in the process and really like how much I've learned. I've learned so much in doing this show. So, through all of that reflection, I also did some projection and I allowed myself the opportunity to explore what's next and what I really want moving forward.

Rachel Mae: 2:13

And this podcast it started out of my desire to reconnect with myself and my dreams after becoming a mama and to find community with other mamas who were in the same boat and in so many ways, even more than I could have anticipated, this show has served that purpose so incredibly well. But the thing is, as I look at how I'm currently allocating my time and my energy, there's a pretty even split between the podcast and my family. But ironically, considering, this is a show where we talk about our biggest dreams and our ambitions and how we're making time for them. In motherhood, I've started to realize that, while I've loved creating this podcast, somewhere along the way I accidentally buried my dreams underneath it because, honestly, I have pretty much zero time left over to dedicate to the very things that I created this podcast to reconnect with in the first place. I mean, I haven't been making music in a consistent capacity, which, like that's something core to my soul, and I haven't been spending as much time surrounded by dogs anymore, which is a huge passion of mine and something that I deeply miss.

Rachel Mae: 3:33

Honestly, I just sort of like backburnered a lot of my former dreams and ambitions without even realizing that I had done it. Does that make sense? I just I've been doing a lot of really deep internal work lately and I've been challenged to take a really close look at all of the areas of my life and how I'm showing up for them and how they either are or aren't serving me in this season of my journey, and I've been asked to get really honest with myself about what I really want and what I'm being called to let go of and this is probably the hardest one for me what I'm clinging to simply because it's familiar and seemingly safe. And the truth is, this show is something I have been clinging to for a while, almost trying to force it to work. You know, I've poured so much of my heart and soul into the production of this show and in the process I've had the privilege of connecting with so many amazing mamas and it's honestly been such a rewarding process. But despite all that has gone into this show, it's never really seemed to find its footing.

Rachel Mae: 4:45

And there's a quote that I love that says when a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower. And that really resonates with me so deeply right now, because I know it's time for me to plant some roots in new soil. But I'd be lying if I said that landing on this decision wasn't extremely hard and bittersweet, because it's really freaking hard to let go of something that I've poured so much of myself into and something that has brought me so much joy and purpose. But ultimately I know it's time for a pivot. So this is the last episode of Mama's Cup of Ambition for the foreseeable future and full transparency here I'm actually recording this episode the night before it will air. That's not my style and I know that may lead you to believe that I've made this spur of the moment choice to cancel the show, and that's truly not the case. I want to assure you that's not the case here. The truth is, I've been clinging and going back and forth over the past few weeks and I've had so many guest requests come in and even a few opportunities to expand my reach and to grow the show. But when I really got honest with myself, I knew that they were presenting as tests and that wasn't the direction that I was supposed to be heading. So this is a side note here, but it's relevant, I swear. So just stay with me.

Rachel Mae: 6:18

My dad was over at my house today for a little family time and while he was here he gave me his pocket watch and he had tears in his eyes when he was doing it and he, like really lovingly, showed me how to work it. And he shared with me that his mom gave it to him on his 25th birthday and he wanted me to have it. And of course, this all made me begin to cry as well because, as I've shared here with you on the show before, my dad is in the final chapter of his life and as a family, we're all trying to reconcile navigating this complicated territory. And I'm not going to go deep into that right now because I did an episode all about it episode 67, exploring the significance of firsts and lasts, and I'll link that up here in case you want to go back and give it a listen. But the thing is, in that moment I really wanted to just quickly turn down his gesture and say something along the lines of like no, dad, it's not time for you to start letting go of your belongings. But that's not my call. It's not my place to tell him when to let go. Only he can navigate those choices and all I can do is try to make space for his experience and allow him to share the pieces of his life with us in the way that feels right to him.

Rachel Mae: 7:39

But what really got me was the fact that as my dad and I sat on the couch in tears together with kids running wild all around us, I held his pocket watch in one hand and I was holding my dad's hand in the other, and all I could think about was I'm not ready for this, I need more time. You see the irony right Like holding my dad's pocket watch and thinking like I need more time. I don't. I'm not ready for this goodbye to be so close and imminent, and I also realized in that moment that I also need to lighten my load. You know, like I need to make time for these moments that I know I'll never be able to get back.

Rachel Mae: 8:22

And coming back to that quote about changing a flower's environment when it's not blooming, there's another quote that comes to mind here that's nothing in nature blooms all year. And I don't think we're meant to be on a never-ending content creation wheel, despite what our culture may have us believe. And you know, the truth is I don't entirely know what's next for me, other than the opportunity to just be for a while and to lean in hard to my motherhood era and spend a little more time just playing and creating for my own self-expression and exploration. And hot damn, that sounds good Like I've spent so much of my life identifying as ambitious and on some level, that will always be me. That will always be true. I mean, that's why I named this show Mama's Cup of Ambition.

Rachel Mae: 9:13

But the ironic thing is that I discovered about myself in the production of this show that, yes, I am ambitious about a lot of things, but I'm also pretty damn ambitious about just being just existing, just being a present mama to my kids, a present mom to my dogs and a present wife and a friend, present sister, a present daughter. I just present with my own company for crying out loud, like, to be honest, I've kind of lost touch with how to do that lately and I'm really looking forward to sort of disconnecting from this identity that I've been wrapped in of ambition to do more and be more and really just anchoring down and reconnecting with myself and this life that I'm blessed enough to be living. There's this theory called the fertile void, and it's a theory that is just basically there to describe a phase where nothing in particular stands out and nothing much seems to be happening, where you might not really be sure what to expect and things might be kind of quiet in your life and you don't really know what the future holds. But the fertile void is where unexpected things, joys, treasures can really take shape in your life. That totally feels like the season that I'm entering now and it's very welcome.

Rachel Mae: 10:37

So I just want to say thank you to each and every one of you who have been on this journey with me.

Rachel Mae: 10:45

Thank you for tuning in, thank you for sharing the show, thank you for letting me be a part of your days and for exploring the intersection of motherhood and dream chasing with me.

Rachel Mae: 10:55

This has most definitely been a chapter in my life that I will look back fondly on and, who knows, maybe someday I'll feel inclined to bring the show back. But for now, I am signing off with the intention to both lean in hard to my motherhood era while my babies are still young, but also to stop talking about my dreams and start pouring time and energy into them again. Cheers to that right. And I'll still be popping by over on Instagram to say hi from time to time, so we can still connect there. I'm not going off the grid or anything, but this is it for Mama's Cup of Ambition. For now, I want you to know I'm rooting for you, I believe in you and I'm encouraging you to go do all those things that you've been dreaming of doing. And until our paths cross again, may your dreams be ambitious and may your coffee be strong. I'll talk to you soon.